Develop the soft skills you actually need
Want to be better at soft skills but don’t know where to start? This content gives you an idea, almost like it's custom-made for you.
BY EMIO POON | UPDATE: 11 DEC 2025
Why is it hard to develop?
Actually, not that hard if you know the method, but if you don’t, I understand the process can be really confusing. One of the most common blockages people face is learning soft skills through old, traditional methods, which makes them feel lost and overwhelmed at the beginning because they can’t acquire all the subskills and abilities from books, events, and activities. If you listed all the potential and related subskills you need to develop one by one, you would see why this gets you into trouble.
Soft Skills
Problem-solving
Purposive
Prioritization
Communication
Productive listening
Potential subskills and related abilities
Time management
Decisive
Systematic
Flexible
Set boundaries
Networking
Confident
Patient
Harmonious
Empathy
Leadership
Ambitious
Responsible
Curious
Independent
Teamwork
Foresightful
Disciplined
Collaborative
Generous
How to solve the problems?
A person can’t obtain a subskill if certain qualities aren't in place. Can you imagine how difficult it is to ask a flexible person to be persistent? The subskill and quality are not compatible at all, right?
Put the subskills and abilities aside; they are not what you should focus on, because they are the end product of your personal qualities.
If you are self-worth, you are confident and purposeful for sure. If you stay neutral, you are better at communicating and maintaining harmony naturally.
To develop soft skills, don’t chase subskills and abilities one by one; focus on improving your qualities consciously and start the transformation within. You will be able to become the person you desire.
Find out your personal qualities.
You may wonder how to improve your qualities. Here is a personality test to help you take the first step. These personality tests are designed to find out what qualities you have already built strongly, and what you are unfamiliar with and untrained in yet.
Five simple questions have four answers each, and the colors Red, Green, Yellow, and Blue represent each answer. You need to give each answer a mark, from one to four, four points for the color that best describes or strongly agrees, one point for the color that you disagree with, or totally not the way you think. After you finish five questions, you will understand your qualities in general.
Let’s get started!
QUESTION 1
If a situation makes you upset or feel unpleasant.
How will you react?
A. Ignore it, endure it, keep yourself on track.
B. Switch your focus or don’t take it personally.
C. Try to fix or be more skillful next time.
D. Time to put more effort and work harder.
These boxes are editable
QUESTION 2
If your loved one feels frustrated.
What are you going to do?
A. Time to give a deep pep talk.
B. Let’s go for a nice meal and drink.
C. Invite to a party or somewhere fun and exciting.
D. Give personal space.
QUESTION 3
The best description of yourself.
A. Fairness and Cooperative.
B. Patient and Stable.
C. Lively and energetic.
D. Caring and Helpful.
QUESTION 4
In a career or in a project.
What satisfies you the most?
A. Doing something meaningful.
B. Can achieve something.
C. Show part of yourself in your work.
D. Connecting and matching people's wants and needs.
QUESTION 5
In a relationship.
Which is important to you?
A. Feel proud of this connection.
B. Highly compatible with your life and your pace.
C. Share experiences and feelings.
D. Similar and common idea.
Let’s check the results.
Finished? Nice!
Which color do you give the Lowest mark to?
Each color is associated with a certain mindset and personal quality.
The color you give the lowest mark represents the mindset you are unfamiliar with or the quality you pay less attention to.
When Red quality underperforms
When Red quality underperforms, you might find it challenging to stay driven, to dare to make your own choices, to maintain your confidence, to keep your pace, and to keep your vision. You might also procrastinate on progress because of a lack of passion.
You might feel
Low self-driven
Indecisive
Wobbly mind
Monotonous
Low motivation
Procrastinate
How to develop Red quality.
Try to take action based on belief, vision, and passion.
Try not to act only out of necessity; turn your intention into action.
You do the laundry not because you have to, but because you want to look your best.
You go to the grocery store not because you have to, but because you are taking care of yourself.
To act with intention, tune your mindset to be willing to take action because this is what you want.
Turn your thoughts into decisions.
Sometimes an idea gets silenced for many reasons: maybe you tell yourself it isn't the right time, there aren't enough resources, or you doubt that it fits the conditions. It is because you have given the reason more power than your desire. Try to learn to encourage yourself and tune your focus, instead of being daunted by any reason, decide to set a plan and take action for your idea.
Appreciate your self-motivation even in failure.
And don’t let experiences drag you down. If you have had bad experiences before and now do not dare to act because of those failures, please don’t blame yourself. If you take action with good intentions and want to improve yourself, try to appreciate your self-motivation more than the outcome.
When Red quality performs
When Red quality performs well, you are energetic, visionary, and lively. Willing to take bold steps, take risks, and be confident because of holding the passion for being yourself.
You can more easily develop the related traits and abilities with the Red quality in place.
Purposive
Ambitious
Decisive
Confident
Foresightful
Brave
Optimistic
Passinate
Energetic
Action oriented
When Green quality underperforms
When Green quality underperforms, you might find it challenging to turn your idea into reality, and difficult to maintain what you have started. You're taking action based on emotion rather than rational and practical knowledge.
You might feel
Directionless
Impatient
Defeatist
Faltering
Lack of practicality
How to develop Green quality.
Be a bridge between ideas and reality.
To learn to think and act practically, starting with small practices in your life is a good idea: shorten a pair of jeans yourself, change the cushion or sofa cover, or rearrange your workspace. Try putting yourself in a direct, practical experience to train yourself; you can turn an idea into reality through consistent action, planning, and refinement with your own hands.
Acknowledge your dedication.
Appreciating yourself for the time and effort you put into your progress helps you cultivate a positive mindset by going inward. Training yourself in Self-acceptance by enjoying your gradual, steady progress toward flourishing.
Looking forward to the best.
Sometimes, a good result needs time to grow, which can sound difficult in modern times, when everything is so fast and instant.
But being patient doesn’t mean a long wait of doing nothing; it's a mindset and capacity to accept improvement at a reasonable pace. To learn, looking forward to the best, try to make lasting healthy lifestyle changes, for example, 2-3 minutes of exercise every day, improve your diet, learn new knowledge and skills, or find a new hobby. Building your own experience of being patient and appreciating the beauty of stillness.
When Green quality performs
When Green types perform well, you are stable, organised, practical, and reasonable. Comfortable and prefers to live in a routine and structure that matches their belief and needs.
You can more easily develop the related traits and abilities with the Green quality in place.
Systematic
Disciplined
Determined
Steady
Rational
Patient
Organising
Detailed
Responsible
Prioritization
When Yellow quality underperforms
When Yellow quality underperforms, you find it difficult to embrace change, rejecting new ideas, doubting your ability to break free from old habits and patterns, which also makes it challenging to create a safe space in your mind to unlease the old chapter, causing it to be hard to forgive and letting go.
You might feel
Stonewalling
Insecurity
Closed-mind
Relentless
Stubbornness
Oversensitive
How to develop Yellow quality.
Accepting change.
Do you resist change because of the anxiety around unpredictable situations? Or doubting your abilities? Accepting change is not forcing yourself to change passively because of the situation or because people told you so. Accepting change is a mindset you choose to change because it is good for you. To develop this mindset, please keep in mind that change can be good; it can involve improvement, adjustment, adaptation, or a process of making. Try to learn new knowledge or try new experiences consciously, not for the result or benefit; it's about experiencing that you are capable of changing if you choose to.
Mental flexibility.
Don’t live in obsession and stubbornness. Thinking hard won’t help you create a safe space in your head to adapt to your new chapter. A fixed idea usually tunnels your vision and causes you to miss other points of view that might benefit you. Try being formless, don’t take sides easily, ask yourself “Why not?” or question yourself often, prefer to be neutral rather than biased, and sometimes admit you don't know, is the simplest way to stay flexible.
Move forward and don’t look back with regret.
You might wonder about the decisions made, but please don’t turn into negativity. Because when negativity arises, people tend to focus on fixing the situation and hoping to make up for their mistake, which keeps them running in circles. To move forward, you need to stay formless, willing to change, and finally harmonize new and old ideas to truly step into a new chapter.
When Yellow quality performs
When Yellow types perform well, you are flexible, unrestricted, curious, and diverse. You are never afraid of changing and always looking for new experiences. Prefer an ambiguous rather than a fixed situation, because you are happy to explore a better result than rushing to a conclusion.
You can more easily develop the related traits and abilities with the Yellow quality in place.
Communication
Curious
Flexible
Harmonious
Collaborative
Forgiving
Fair
Open-minded
Social
Progressive
When Blue quality underperforms
When Blue quality underperforms, you might sacrifice your wants and needs to meet society's and reality's expectations. Difficult to build a deep bond with others, hard to identify intentions and behaviors, and feel unconnected with surroundings.
You might feel
Low self-awareness
Boorish
Unemotional
Disconnected
Unkind
Weak boundaries
How to develop Blue quality.
Being less defensive.
People misunderstand that being defensive is a sign of being a weak person or suspicious, but in fact, it's just a coping mechanism when uncomfortable feelings arise. Aware of your defensiveness, learn to get along with your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which help you develop a healthy coping mechanism, and finally, you can turn it into your mental strength.
Quality of life.
Quality of life doesn’t mean how many material things you have, how many social expectations you gain, or how much attention you receive. If you find it difficult to find peace and fulfillment in your life, it is hard to call this a quality of life. To find peace and fulfillment in your life, try to recognize what you already have rather than what you lack, and pay attention to what you are busy with. Are you busy with things meaningful to you, or are you spending time and energy filling the emptiness?
Prioritize your mental needs.
Are you too busy or distracted by reality, sacrificing to make time for self-care?
Or you feel exhausted, chasing satisfaction here and there from different areas of your life?
If you want to feel loved, safe, and esteemed, and to realize your abilities in all aspects, please don’t focus only on material things; your mind also needs to be taken care of. Try to take care of your mind separately. A healthy mind needs experience, growth, inspiration, healthy connections, support, self-appreciation, and positive affirmation to feel satisfied.
When Blue quality performs
When Blue quality performs well, you are highly sensitive, kind, supportive, and responsive to mental needs. Your feeling-oriented ability enables you to understand desire more than others do, setting you apart and creating your own space within society and reality.
You can more easily develop the related traits and abilities with the Yellow quality in place.
Responsive
Independent
Self-respect
Empathy
Generous
Understanding
Supportive
Sensitive
Diligent
Caring
This is how to develop the soft skills you actually need.
Hope this content inspired you, and gave you an idea of how to improve in your daily life.
Wish you all the best.
Disclaimer
The video and tool are for entertainment and educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional advice.
No artificial intelligence (AI) was used in the creation of this work. The AI tool only assists with grammar correction in text content.
